We all knew it was coming. You glance at the calendar, trying not to fixate on the dates too long. It’s one of those days that we would just like to sleep through and wake up on Monday, ready to continue our journey. In our minds, we reason that would hurt less. Yes, I’m talking about Mother’s Day.
One of the most commercialized holiday’s of the year that signifies Joy and Love. While other’s receive bouquets of Roses, some Mom’s are arranging flowers on a grave. While we honor Mother’s in church services, some will stay home because getting out and seeing people is JUST…TOO….HARD.
You’re Not Alone
I know an amazing group of Mom’s that also live in the same unfortunate realm of reality that was thrust upon me 7 years ago. These women are Strong, Resilient, Caring, Welcoming, and Beautiful. We hurt and cry together. We lift each other up and pray each other through memories of earthly birthday’s because their son’s and daughter’s now celebrate without us in Heaven.
We pray each other through the day of our children’s homegoing. Those memories are etched in our minds forever as we remember each detail of that awful day.
But most of all, we find an understanding with each other. We GET it!! We’re free to just be. We all agree that this is a life that we would NEVER choose for ourselves or others, but yet here we are.
I have a precious friend that faced her first Mother’s Day without her beautiful daughter, who went on ahead to Heaven a few months ago.
Another friend will spend the day on the beach, because that’s where she feels closer to her 13 year old daughter, whose life was taken last year when a young man chose to drink and drive. His recklessness killed 3 family members as he crashed into their golf cart.
I also know a couple that never got to meet their twins the Mama was carrying. Many Mom’s have lost their only child, while another Mom I know lost both sons in the same car accident.
Different Circumstances, Same Journey
Every Mother has a different story. Some of us have other children and grandchildren, for which we are eternally grateful. But if you’ve given birth to a child that now lives in Heaven, you still long and ache for that unique son or daughter that can never be replaced.
I’ve been told, “Well, you have other children!” Yes, and like I just said, I’m so grateful, but the hole that’s left in your heart was “their” size. A unique spot meant only to be occupied by that individual son or daughter. A permanent missing piece.
Your heart is NEVER the same and will not be totally healed until we wrap our arms around the one who isn’t with us any longer.
I sat at dinner a few nights ago with some of the Mother’s I described earlier. Their eyes shone as they spoke of their son’s and daughter’s. In a group like ours we discuss what would probably make others feel uncomfortable.
We talk and ask hard things because we can. We don’t have to wonder if someone else “GETS” it. We all do.
And each heart at the table feels the same sting as we listen to the details of the accident that happened, the baby that didn’t make it at birth, the son with cancer who left behind a beautiful family.
Different circumstances may have gotten us here, but we’re all on the same journey now. We all anticipate the same thing in the future. Being reunited forever.
Where Do We Go From Here?
No doubt there’s a sigh of relief that you made it through another of many difficult times. You are a MIGHTY woman of STRENGTH!!! ‘
This journey is not a “one and done” kind of thing. I wish we had just one hard thing or day to get through, but that’s just not the truth. It’s a continuous cry for God’s strength and help. It’s lived most days on our knees.
This is our life now. It’s painful and all too real, but guess what? From the same night at dinner, I saw and listened to Mom’s that know where their strength comes from. For within their painful recollections, they’ll be the first to remind you of God’s Grace and Character.
Battles faced and won. Falling down but not staying down for the count. Using what breath we have left to say their name and honor them with all of our heart that remains down here.
I just have to believe that all of our son’s and daughter’s are looking on and saying, “Good job Mom! I’m so proud of you! See you soon.”
If you are a Mom who’s lost a child and need to be with others who understand, please contact me and I will connect you with others on the same path.
My Prayer For You
“Thank you God for getting us through the hard days and nights. Also for your Promise in Matthew 28:20 that says, “You are with us always.” Please fill each Mom’s heart with a new and confident resilience she’s never had. Help us to bring honor to our children. In Jesus’ Name.”