The date was December 17th, 2015. Josiah was in a regular room now and had a steady stream of visitor’s that rejoiced with his decision to leave the past behind and walk into the plan God had for him. Nothing but support of the best kind.
Once the breathing tube had been removed, Josiah began to occasionally cough up blood. The Doctor’s explained, so nonchalantly, that there was “Nothing to be alarmed about. It was just the aftermath from his injury.”
Nonetheless, their words did not put him at ease. Imagine our shock when the Doctor came in asking, “Are you ready to go home??” Josiah was absolutely stunned at such a question. “NO, I’M NOT!! I’M SCARED TO GO HOME! I’M COUGHING UP BLOOD!!”
“Well, your insurance says you’re ready to go home!”, was the Doctor’s reply. WHAT??? My mind goes back to my son begging and pleading with the Doctor, who was clearly being controlled by insurance demands, rather than a Physician who placed the well being of patients at the forefront of his decisions.
His final reply was, “If you stay, it will be from your own pocket!” With the assurance that someone would be by with discharge papers soon, and the obligatory, “You’ll be fine!”, the Doctor left the room.
The Why Didn’t I’s?
G-U-I-L-T is a strategy the enemy will try to heap upon your already raw heart. Sometimes it comes in the form of “Why didn’t I do more to protect my son?” or “If only_________(fill in the blank)”
In the sorting out of questions and emotions, I’ve said many times, and I’ll say it again, “When we start down the Would’ve, Could’ve, and Should’ve Roads, we are actually standing on a slippery slope, where the enemy is more than happy to give you a shove.”
God wants to bandage and bring healing to our broken hearts and He is NEVER the reason the scab gets ripped off. This sounds like such a simple statement and I’ll be the first to admit that I have pulled and picked at my wound so many times, delaying a healing that God wanted to bring.
Working On The Plan
Josiah continued his recovery at home, with attentive loved ones at his beck and call. How could we not when our hearts were so grateful that he was still here with us? Yes, this Christmas reminded us that the importance wasn’t about what was under the tree, but about who was around it.
He was still in pain and coughing up some blood, but each time I would call the Doctor’s office, they said that he just needed to “move around more” and even if I brought him back to the ER, they “would send him back home” Tell him to “keep taking his pain meds.” He wanted to be very careful with those and not become dependent, so he took less than he was prescribed.
That didn’t stop Josiah from being so consumed with shopping for the family. “I only have Dad’s present and I need to go shopping!” Over and over we explained that “HE was our gift and we couldn’t want for anything more!” It’s hard to convince someone with such a generous heart that he doesn’t need to give:)
One of the most important actions he took was ending the toxic relationship that had left him feeling hopeless and defeated, vowing that he would never ever communicate with her again unless he had his family around.
That was a Promise that we were more than willing to keep. Ladies and gentlemen, the elephants have left the room….forever!!
My Prayer For You
”God, we all have emotions that want to control our minds, keeping us down and wounded. Lord, please take our hand and lead us away from the slippery slope, giving us firm footing. I pray for each Mom to fix their minds on You, because Your Word says that when our minds are fixed on you, there is Peace! Thank you, in Jesus Name.”
