These Words from Jesus have always been one of my favorite scriptures. I think it shows His character so perfectly. The Hopes and Dreams He has for us as we live our lives on earth. It’s full of Promise and Excitement, a clear explanation of Jesus’ intent for everyone. His Sacrifice became our Abundance. He doesn’t want us to settle for the mundane glass half full life where we just barely get by. His desire is for us to grasp His Joy and live it out minute by minute, despite the level of our circumstances. Easier said than done, Right??
But as seriously as Jesus wants us to believe this part of the verse, there’s another part that we need to be keenly aware of and give it equal importance. It’s not the fun part of the verse. You see, there is a thief that has it out for us. He wants to KILL, STEAL, and DESTROY everything we have, who we are, and will become. His plot is to do everything possible for us NOT to believe the bottom part of the verse, much less live by it.
Word Pictures
How we live our day to day life is a Word Picture of our beliefs. Nothing can take your focus off of enjoying life like death. The enemy came and STOLE what was precious to us, and the only abundance and overflow we feel is mind numbing pain. In my last post I gave you the definition of grief on paper. But what we know from experience, comparing what we read, to the actualities of how it affects us individually, are as reliable as nailing Jello to a wall and expecting it to stay. I’ve always heard that expression but wondered who would actually do that….Oh, wait, I raised 4 boys. Never mind!
At the present time, we are dealing once again, with the lingering after effects of our loss. Things have been manageable for a little while, but the enemy takes no breaks in trying to disrupt your life. He isn’t our friend, nor does he give us a pass. When you’re down, he wants you to stay there as he whispers in your ear, lying to you that it will never get any better. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of all lies. John 8:44 ESV He wants our Word Picture to be that of a defeated and hopeless person, believing and verbalizing that life will always be like it is this very season.
But God!…….I love these two words. It gives us the assurance that all is not lost. It isn’t over. There’s Hope on the horizon. Some days these 2 little words are all that I’m able to utter. Instead of using the word enjoyable to describe life, it seems as if I’ve had one too many trips on the “Hot Mess Express.” In my exhaustion over the last few weeks, I’ve had to repeat this phrase over and over because I know I can’t solve any problem, no matter the size, in my own human abilities. You don’t have to be fancy with God. Call on Him any way you can.
Recently, I did some devotions on “The Power of First Words.” It reminded me that we should have God’s Word so deeply into our Spirit, that when something upsetting happens, our first response is His Word. Your first words set the tone for the situation. Last week, one of my son’s faced a trial that, without a miracle from God, the results could be devastating. I cried and cried, because HE was hurting, therefore I was hurting. But all the while, through the tears, I spoke out loud, “God, this Battle is not ours, but Yours and You’ve NEVER lost a battle!”(2 Chronicles 20:15) On one of the toughest days, I opened my devotion to find out it was from Luke 18:27 “What is impossible with men is POSSIBLE WITH GOD” WOW!! God knew we needed that extra encouragement. I thanked and praised God for His Promises of deliverance that are a lifeline thrown down to us when we feel like we’re at the bottom of a pit. We can tightly wrap it around us and be lifted up to the Light.
And, Glory to God, my son’s situation has had a miraculous intervention from the Father Himself!
It’s This…No, It’s That
Each person in my family handled death in a different way. Some liked to talk about Josiah. Others kept quiet, or worse, suggested to the ones that WANTED to talk about Josiah, to not mention him at all. Some of us went to counseling. For the rest of the family, the idea of pouring out their feelings to someone they didn’t know was a big “No Thank You!” Some of us went to the Dr. and got put on mild anti-depressants. Others felt that wasn’t a need. I’d be lying if I said that there weren’t misunderstandings among the people we loved the most. Why does this bother you? Why does this NOT bother you? We had to be forgiving of each other.
From what my family has endured over the last 4 years, there’s a lot that I can tell you about what grief is. Some days I feel as if I need to contact Merriam-Webster and ask them if they’d like for me to expound on their definitions. Part of my grief was gaining over 40 pounds, because the comfort zone felt so safe and didn’t ask me any questions. (Side note-I’ve never been one of those people that make statements like, “You know, when I get upset I just can’t eat.” Just sayin!) It’s driving the long way around to your Daughter’s orthodontist because, in taking the the short route, you’d pass where he used to live. It’s leaving some of your Snowmen out year round because he added to your collection every year. It’s comparing photos from before and after, noticing that the once happy sparkle in your eyes has been replaced with a sadness no matter how forced the smile.
Just 3 days ago, after a motorcycle ride, my husband sat down beside me in the den. Unusually quiet, I asked if he was alright. Through a broken voice he managed to get out, “I just miss Josiah. I wish he could go riding with me.” Situations like these doesn’t mean that we’re not handling our loss, but shows the magnitude of how Josiah is loved and missed every moment of every day.
“Visions Of Heaven”
My heart from the beginning of this blog has been to share what a Personal God He has been to me throughout my journey, and to encourage you to trust Him to show Himself to you in the same way. One instance stands out as a special gift to me.
Josiah had been gone for a few weeks and I was having one of my nights of replaying things out in my thoughts. The last time I held his hand. Conversations we’d had the day before he died. Christmas Eve morning of 2015, when I leaned down and kissed his forehead and told him, “This isn’t good-bye, so I’ll see you later.”
Not wanting to wake my husband with my tossing and turning, I got up and went to the Sunroom. Sitting in the darkness, I prayed through sobs, “God, I don’t know what to do. My family has millions of pieces of broken hearts. I need you to show me how to comfort my babies.” (Maybe it’s just me, but no matter how old they get, they’ll always be my babies:) My cry to my Father.
In our homeschooling, talking about Heaven was a normal occurrence, especially after my parents passed away. We would talk about how it would look and what “Mawmaw”and “Pawpaw” were doing. It’s Grandness and Splendor. Were the Gates really made of Pearl? Do we actually walk on Streets of Gold? The Majestic Beauty that minds can only imagine. What would we do when we saw Jesus for the first time?
When my oldest son was 4, during a Bible lesson, he was decorating a picture of Heaven with all sorts of “Jewels” as we talked about how beautiful Heaven’s going to be. I asked him, “Don’t you want to go there someday?” He quickly said without hesitation, “Nope, I don’t think I’d like it!” A little shocked, I asked why he thought that? And with all the logic of a 4 year old, he said very firmly, “Because there’s not even a place to park my tricycle!!!!” I quickly explained that he’d have plenty of room for all of his toys. He felt much better hearing that news.
After sharing my heart that night, God began to speak to my Spirit and His Peace began to fill my soul. I could hear Josiah speaking to me. Not audibly, but in my Spirit. He was saying, “You were right Mom!! Everything you taught us about Heaven was right! It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen and I’m so happy here!” In that moment, I knew that was God’s way of bringing comfort to me. I needed them to know how happy Josiah is and that we have so much to look forward to one day. I will never forget that moment. God, just doing what God does because He’s a Personal God and I am so grateful.
Shreds from one of Josiah’s shirts fill the ornament and I added the phrase on the front as an everyday reminder of his joy.
My Prayer For You
“God, I am SO THANKFUL You defeated the enemy and that there’s never a battle that you don’t win! I pray for each Mom that is encompassed in grief. You feel our pain, Lord and we ask that you fill us with Your Abundance and Fullness of life. I ask that you would show each Mom what a Personal God you are, helping them to have an awareness of You. Please comfort each family in Your own personal way. Thank you for Your lifeline. In Jesus’ Name”
As always, you’re in my thoughts and prayers. Would you please share how God has comforted you in a personal way?