This seems like a broad title because it could apply to just about every other question I have right now concerning this and that.
I’m not talking about “easy” questions, but the questions that leave us on our knees, crying out to God.
Some may say, “I know you’re not supposed to ask God why!” and as I’ve stated my point on that in a previous blog, “Asking God WHY isn’t going to knock Him off His throne!”
He’s God! He can handle our tough dilemmas. Where I wrestle with my “Always plan ahead, want to know details, homeschool Mom” attitude is that sometimes I don’t get the answers to what I want to know.
How many times have we said, “When I get to Heaven I’m going to ask God why this and why that??” But, let’s face it, once we step inside those gates and see our loved ones again, no question will matter or be important anymore.
Heavy Hearts….Very Few Answers
Situations over the past 18 months have left me shaking my head.
A drunk driver crashing into a family as they took a ride around the neighborhood on their golf cart. Three lost their lives, one of which was my friend’s 13-year-old daughter.
A close friend’s precious daughter, struggling with mental illness, took her own life.
A beautiful 34 year old wife and mother loses her cancer battle that she so fiercely fought for 2 years.
In each of these situations we prayed and believed for their earthly healings, but they came as heavenly one’s instead.
Having not the why’s to comfort them, all I can do is share the how’s that Jesus has helped me make it through.
Compassion On Another Level
My close friend Debbie lost her son, Nathan, to a heart attack. He was a Marine who left behind a wife and 3 small daughters. He went to be with Jesus in February of 2015, while Josiah joined Jesus in December of 2015.
Both having large families, our children grew up together. I still remember being at their home the night that Nathan announced, “I’m joining the Marines!” Our oldest son followed his lead a few years later and actually ended up at the same base. When my son was deployed to Japan and couldn’t be here for his daughter’s birth, Nathan’s wife was in the delivery room when my granddaughter was born.
Debbie was always Josiah’s 2nd Mom. Her son Stephen spent the whole day at our house the day before Josiah died.
Debbie was the friend who was there to show me what to do when my mind couldn’t think. She sat at the funeral home with us as we wrote the obituary, helping us describe our boy as people knew him. When I picked out an urn, Debbie said, “That’s not Josiah.” She was right.
Her shoulder was the one I cried onto as she sat beside me at Josiah’s funeral.
A few weeks later she gave me sound advice about taking care of myself in the midst of grief.
Everything she did for me was done while she was still grieving her own son, ripping off the scabs of her places that were trying to heal.
I always thought of myself as a pretty compassionate person, but the death of your child makes you realize that you didn’t have a clue before. My selfless friend showed me compassion on a sacrificial level. We even discussed it the other night and we both agreed that when the need comes to comfort someone, God actually helps you step out of yourself to minister.
We now live a few hours apart, but treasure our visits to the beach in October each year. Debbie and I sit with our toes in the sand, talking about our boys, and just wondering about things.
At the end of the day we always come up with the same conclusion, which is, 1-We don’t see the whole picture the way that God sees it. & 2-We just have to trust in a God who doesn’t know how to be anything but good and loving.(Even when nothing about our situation FEELS good and loving!)
Debbie and I…..Friends since 2002. What a journey we still travel together with each passing day being one day closer to seeing our boy’s again!
When I began this blog, my theme has been this verse and I had a great example in how to do it. I’ve since had the opportunity to come along side others with the same comfort God has provided to me.
It’s what keeps us going, knowing this is exactly what God wants us to do. Using our pain for His purpose. One of my frequent prayers is, “Jesus please help me to use Josiah’s death for life.”
Some of you may be saying, “How can I help other’s when I can’t even help myself?” or “It’s just too soon.” I totally get that and God understands. Just be willing to trust His timing. There were days that I would tell God, “I just can’t participate in life today!” He would gently nudge me with His Spirit and I would hear, “Just get up and put your feet on the floor and I’ll take it from here!”
MY PRAYER FOR YOU
“In Jesus’s Holy Name I come before you on behalf of the precious Mother’s that are suffering the loss of their son or daughter. I pray that you would comfort them in undeniable ways with Your presence. May we all keep our minds, eyes, and especially our hearts open to when You may need us to be used for Your compassion and comfort. Thank you Father, Amen”