Surviving

Happy New Year!! First of all, I’m well aware that we are in the 10th month of 2020. I’d also bet by now that the catchy phrase, “The Year of Seeing Clearly” to describe this present year back in January, has become “The Year I NEVER Want to See Again!”

Normally, we get excited for a New Year. A blank page that we fill with goals, dreams, and new possibilities. And If we’re really serious, we include a plan to make these happen. Sometimes people focus on one word to keep themselves motivated. A word that propels them to not give up, so that success is a sure fire thing. Words like Thrive, Inspire, or Persevere.

I’ve had a couple of words over the last few years. Let’s see, in 2016 my word was Breathe. Sounds simple enough, but since Josiah had just died several days before this particular New Year, the numbing pain was still so real. By God’s Grace, we made it to 2017. I had a new word for this year…Survive!
It means “to continue to live or exist in spite of ordeals or difficulties” God was helping us to continue.

With 2018 and 2019, I kept the word that best described life. Yes, you guessed it! Survive!
It sounds so simple to keep on keeping on, but every Mother who’s lost a child finds such a degree of difficulty in the things that was once second nature.
We are not lazy nor lack ambition. We care about and for others, but in my case, I had a hard time getting my intentions to become reality most of the time. I saw this sign a while back and felt that it rang true for some of the seasons we face.

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It’s OK. In death and grief, a new way of life is forced upon us. Don’t be hard on yourself. Stay close to Jesus, rest in Him, and trust His guidance.

Survival IS the goal! One that could not and cannot be reached without the Lord by my side. John 15:5-Apart from Him I can do nothing.

Sweet Encouragement

I have 2 very special friends, Sharon and Marie. Whenever you’re around them, God shines so brightly that I want to seek Him more. To know them is to love them! With the Lord’s leading, they started a ministry called Grace In The Wilderness. It’s a ministry for today’s busy woman. After Marie lost her precious son Josh, a group called “Moms Who Have Lost Children” was formed and continues to host a brunch each December, in honor of our son’s and daughter’s. The “Grace Girls”, headed up by Lori and Kathy, formed a support group and plan local meetings. We are all just a group of Mom’s on the same journey. We pray for and lift up each other. I was recently having a “Josiah” day. You know the kind…..where the tears wouldn’t stop. I asked my friends to pray for me and their prayers helped me make it through the day. We love you right where you are. Some have been traveling this road for a while and some Mom’s have just begun. We cry and hurt with each other. It’s an understanding group of women that can say, “I know exactly how you feel.” and really mean it. Support like this is very vital to surviving the hard times. We need each other!!

I’m so grateful to be part of this ministry. It touches so many lives and I thank God for the vision of these precious women. For more info or to join, go to GRACE IN THE WILDERNESS/A Ministry For Today’s Busy Woman @graceinthewilderness.net

Worship

Another important aspect in surviving is shifting my focus intentionally upon Him.

Our church had introduced a new song, called “Every Line”, around the time Josiah died. This became my anthem. On my darkest days, I would go into my bathroom and lock the door behind me. I would sing along at the top of my lungs, with arms raised and tears streaming down my face. “Where would I be without you, facing this fight I’d never choose…..I’m out of breath, but He is breathing for me….My fight is gone, but He is fighting for me….Write me with Your story Jesus, every line Your story Jesus….”

Worship isn’t lifting my hands and thanking God that Josiah isn’t here, it’s praising Him for preparing a place for Josiah to live forever!

Worship is releasing my brokenness to the One who can heal it. It’s singing His Word back to Him, trusting that there’s a purpose for the pain, and in His time, you’ll help other’s the same way that He’s helped you.

As parent’s, we only want the very best for our children. When one dies, our natural response is to want them back. I was mentioning one day how badly I missed Josiah and my oldest daughter thought for a minute and said, “But Mom, we wouldn’t want him to have to leave Heaven and come back to this messed up world!” ABSOLUTELY! THE TEARS ARE FOR US, NOT THEM!! While worshipping one day, I realized, “Josiah is experiencing the very BEST God has to offer. He’ll never experience pain or sadness again.”
I found a reason to rejoice!

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I prayerfully encourage you to worship. When I feel like I can’t go on is when I know I need it the most. I love to get my Great Dane Lila, start my Spotify playlist, and hit the pavement. As we climb the first hill, I’m hearing, “This is how I fight my battles…It may look like I’m surrounded but I’m surrounded by You!” Offering everything up to Him, so appreciative of where He’s brought us. This is just another way that God helps us to continue on.
Let Praise be a weapon that silences the enemy. Let praise be a weapon that conquers all anxiety. Raise a Hallelujah in the presence of your enemy’s, because Heaven comes to fight for you.

As I finish up today, I want to share some songs that I use in my worship. You can find them on Spotify, You Tube, or iTunes.
1. Surrounded-Michael W. Smith 2. Every Line-New Spring Worship 3. Champion-Bethel Music 4.-Alabaster Heart-Bethel Music 5. Christ Be Magnified-Cody Carnes 6. Follow You Anywhere-Passion Kristian Stanfill 7. Raise a Hallelujah-Bethel Music 8. As You Find Me-Hillsong United 9. We Praise You-Matt Redmond 10. You Keep Hope Alive-Church of the City 11. Never Lost-Elevation Worship w/Tauren Wells 12. See A Victory, Here Again, and Graves Into Gardens-Elevation Worship

My Prayer For You

“Lord, thank you for helping us to survive. We’re still here so that means you have a purpose for us. Show us what you want us to do. Thank you for Grace Girls and for the fellowship and support of friends. Help us to worship, even in the most painful times. Let Praise be a weapon that silences the enemy. Thank you for the Beauty that surrounds our children and Reunion with them that awaits us. In Jesus Name.”

I love you! You’re in my prayers. I would love for you to share songs that are special to you🙏❤️