A Frenzied Season-Part 2

“Mr. Moore, you have 7 blockages, most at 80 and 90 percent, and 2 very weak places in your heart. Surgery is inevitable.”

This was in May 2022.

With Cancer surgery behind us we were getting back into a somewhat normal routine. I hesitate even using the word “normal” because we all know what that word means, right??

In the 2 mile stretch around the neighborhood that my husband could walk with ease just a month before, he began to have a shortness of breath about a quarter mile into it.

Surely this was just a side effect of the Pneumonia vaccine he’d gotten recently. We looked it up on Web MD and it said that sometimes the shot could have such a result. Great. Just have to work through it.

But he didn’t work through it. The doctor began a battery of tests, culminating in a failed stress test. Mind you, he NEVER felt bad.

So there we were, sitting in the office of a heart specialist, listening to him go on and on about how diseased my husband’s heart was.

After all, he drinks Apple Cider Vinegar daily!! Have you ever seen the movie, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding“, where the Dad thinks that a spritz of Windex will heal any disease? May I introduce you to my husband, whose convictions on Apple Cider Vinegar could make him a sidekick to the Windex guy.

Taking in all of the information, we were a little surprised by the news, especially the heart disease facts, but a stent or two would probably do the trick.

Nothing to be alarmed about. Honestly, we weren’t. These procedures are so routine these days.

Let’s Get This Over With

After a quick kiss goodbye, I had just settled into the waiting room before I got a text that he was in recovery. “Wow! They ARE quick with these things!” I said to myself.

The look of astonishment on my husband’s face told me what neither one of us wanted to hear.

The doctor came in and started saying things like “Blockages being too bad” and “By-Pass surgery” and “I’m turning you over to the very best heart surgeon we have.”

Before going home that day, we had met “the very best heart surgeon” and scheduled the surgery date. In the meantime a few friends, that had been through the same surgery, offered their encouragement. To hear their stories of success was hopeful.

Truly a Miracle

After a 5 hour surgery, I was summoned to the consultation room, where I was asked, “And you’re telling me that he NEVER felt bad??” I said, “No not at all.” And the very BEST heart surgeon proceeded to tell me, “Well, I am here to let you know that your husband is a walking miracle!!! As bad as his heart was I can’t believe he was still alive. But hey, he’s good now!”

We just thank God that we were led to this particular doctor. They really weren’t kidding about his skills. One of the home nurses, after finding out who did the surgery, informed us that “He was one of the only doctor’s in the USA that could operate on the President.”

He proudly wears his new shirt, but we had to alter it to say “RESTORED!”

Recovery over the next weeks that followed was better than we could’ve imagined, with him being at about 100% almost a year later.

So, Why Am I Here?

With 2 potentially deadly health issues behind my husband, he began to question, “Why am I still here? What does God want me to do?”

The answers weren’t in loud thunder claps or the tiniest whispers, but in being led to an old classic book that he hadn’t read in decades, “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren.

Like every year, I had perused my bookshelf for titles that could use a re-read to take on our annual October beach trip. A few days into our vacation, he just happened to pick it up. Coincidence? No. Divine appointment? Yes!

We can get caught up in wanting BIG written-in-the-sky answers, but sometimes they’re written between the front and back cover of a book you haven’t picked up in years.

Once again, God’s timing was….well…..His right time!

Honest Questions

If we’re being honest, I think we all ask this particular question from time to time, “God, what’s my purpose in life?”

ESPECIALLY for Mom’s and Dad’s like us that have lost a child. The questions may be worded differently, but the theme is still familiar.

“Why did my child go before me?” “How do I go on without them?” “How do I honor my child?” “God, what do I do with my life now?”

All natural and understanding questions from a grieving heart. Questions that I still ask, even after 7 years. There are some that I know the answer to and some that I’m still working on. If we’re still here then we’re a work in progress.

And may I remind you that I was in such a pit for the first 4 years after Josiah’s death that I asked ALL of these questions plus a MILLION more. Mostly a one way conversation, not really being that interested in what God wanted me to do. That would require action on my part, which I was still just too tired to put forth. Hey, I’m just being honest, but I’m so thankful that God patiently took care of my broken heart along the way.

There are no timelines in grief. God understands where you are. He is with us always.

So, back to my husband’s question……his answer was simple really. Be the hands and feet of Jesus. Be light in the darkness. Show His Love. Sow good seeds. Be a doer of His Word. Be a fruit producer. Bring Glory to the Father.

My Prayer For You

God, I pray for each grieving heart that has more questions than answers. Lovingly show them that their life has meaning and purpose. Give them the courage and strength to put one foot in front of the other. Thank you for your Love that never fails us. In Jesus’ Name. Amen